Oh Pity, Party of One?

I just can’t do this anymore!

Why does it even matter? 

I’m just going to accept the fact that this is how things will always be.

There are more important things to worry about anyway.


Nobody said sacrifice would be easy, and let’s face it: when it comes to serving Christ, there are moments of sacrifice.  After all, Jesus Himself talked about the importance of sacrifice in the New Testament:

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me’.” Matthew 16:24, NASB.

To be fair, He also promised (and still promises!) to care for us along this journey toward Heaven:

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28, NASB.

So why is it that we get so FRUSTRATED at times when it comes to sacrificial living?  For some, this may mean giving more time to be the hands and feet of Jesus in the community.  For others, this may mean redirecting our finances to include tithes, gifts and offerings.  And then there are those day in and day out situations in which we need to honor God (yes, He really does care about every single part of our lives) — how we spend our time each day, what we choose to consume with our eyes and with our mouths, what we feed our souls and our stomachs, the words that we speak, the habits to which we cling.

YES, God’s grace does cover our sins when we accept the gift of salvation through His Son, Jesus.  And YES, Jesus did say,

“It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man.” Matthew 15:11, NASB.

Absolutely, we must be more concerned with our souls than with what we eat!  Yet if what we eat is causing us harm, if we are choosing to seek comfort or happiness in anything other than Christ, then we must rethink our decisions!  We learn from Paul that,

“All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable.  All things are lawful, but not all things edify.” 1 Corinthians 10:23, NASB.

So again, when trying to live this life of obedience in ALL areas in order to be closer to God, to honor Him, and to live in the center of His will rather than my own, why is it that I can find myself in the midst of my own little pity party?  Because I am trying to do this on my own.  I’ve seen quite clearly that on those days when I spend time with God in prayer and in His word, when I reach out to Him for guidance, for comfort, for happiness, I do not struggle with obedience.  However, on days when “I’ve got this,” there are moments in the grocery store bakery section when I want to cry.  That may sound ridiculous when compared to “real” problems in this world (um, see my “excuses” above), but the journey of saying “yes” to God in all things starts within one’s own heart.  And if my heart is divided rather than completely lost in Jesus, well, I’m less likely to serve Him as He would like in other areas.

My pity party is evidenced by my defeated spirit.  By an overwhelming desire to just quit.  By my angry disposition that often shows its ugly head in short remarks to my family.  By my inability to handle stress. By the tears that come too easily over seemingly nothing.  I begin to listen to Satan’s lies instead of God’s truths.  [I love what Lysa TerKeurst says in her book Made to Crave: “Isn’t it just like Satan to make us think we have to have something to comfort us, fill us, satisfy us, only to be haunted by the consequences of this comfort later?” (TerKeurst, 2010, p. 110).]  And when I stop to wonder why I’m feeling this way, God’s Holy Spirit nudges my heart, and I am reminded of His promises again:

“For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7, NASB.

And again:

“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13, NASB.

And yet again:

“Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.  For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is your life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.” Colossians 3:1-4, NASB.

There is no need for the pity party!  Those things that seem so overwhelming in our lives are in HIS hands; we need only to cling to Him instead of to those things that bind us!  Praise God!

In closing, I am currently reading a book as part of my studies in Psychology and Christian Counseling. While writing this blog, a paragraph from the book Effective Biblical Counseling by Larry Crabb came to mind.  I would like to share it with you:

“It must be stressed that obedience does not automatically follow from correct understanding. Remember, I said that our perceptions determine the range of options we can choose.  The will is a real part of the human personality with the function of responsibly choosing to behave consistently with how the Bible teaches us to evaluate our world.  And such choices are not always easy.  It often involved teeth-gritting effort to choose to behave as we should.  It is important to choose to do what is right moment by moment.  Apart from the clear exercise of the will, there will be no consistent obedience.  As the Christian continues to choose the path of righteousness, his capacity for right choices in the face of adversity and temptation enlarges.  He becomes a stronger Christian, one whom God can trust with greater responsibilities” (Crabb, 1977, p. 102).


5 thoughts on “Oh Pity, Party of One?

  1. This was really good. It made me stop and think about how my pity party’s affect my family and others. His light should be shining through us not our own frustrations! Thank you for this! Stephanie Solberg OBS Small Group Leader

  2. Heather, love your insights on the pity parties we tend to have in our struggles. I really appreciated you sharing from your Psychology and Christian Counseling studies! Have a great night, Kim

  3. Great words of encouragement. I am with you, “There is no need for the pity party! Those things that seem so overwhelming in our lives are in HIS hands; we need only to cling to Him instead of to those things that bind us! Praise God!” I’m going to cling to Him!

  4. I’ve thrown a pity party or two myself. It really is amazing how that party can become the most important thing to us. In those moments it becomes all about me..how I feel, what I want etc. it’s only when I realize how self focused I’ve become in the moment that I’m able to put the pity aside, focus on God and let him eclipse it all. Another great post! Have a great day!

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