Why Am I Really Doing This?

Yesterday marked the final day of a 26-day Daniel fast that a friend and I journeyed together. God taught me so much about myself during this time. He revealed the ugliness inside that was masked my letting food be my comfort. He revealed what can be done when I lean on Him instead. Last night, I prayed because I could feel Satan’s lies all around me. Everything from “this discipline won’t last” to “now you can eat what you want.” There was even a “YOU did this, hey, great job!” I’ve tried hard to point others to the victory in Jesus through it all, because I know this was only accomplished through Him. I had to find something more worthy than a lower number on the scale, my health, my family, and feeling or looking better. None of those motivators gave me the strength to keep going before. Only the desire to honor and obey God this past month did! Something very important went through my mind during this fast: “what if I have taken this journey, and what if I continue in obedience to God and His will, and the number on the scale never moves?” Ouch. I realize that won’t be the case, but it brings me back to the reason for everything. Jesus. Laying my life at His feet can’t be about successes in my life. It has to be because I love Him and desire to be His child every single day.

jesus love

SO … after writing this, I got on the scale to see just how much more I had lost since I got on 9 days ago. (Up to that point, I’d lost … interestingly enough … 9 lbs. total since Jan. 6th.) With baited breath, I stepped on. Nothing. Nada. Zip. I am the same weight today as I was 9 days ago. My heart sank a little. And then the words of my post came back to me. “What if I have taken this journey … and the number on the scale never moves?” I felt God’s hand upon my heart. What was the true reason behind my fast? Was it to lose weight, or was it to draw closer to Him? I was completely humbled.

As I move forward in 2014, yes, it is important that I develop better eating and exercise habits. It is more important – even crucial – that I am drawing closer to God and honoring Him as I lay every part of my body and soul at His feet.

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